I was talking with my HBI (Higher Balance Insitute) coach, about trying to awaken.  Awaken to the truth to reality.  I always saw spirituality and or many of the out of the ordinary experiences as imaginary or flirting with an imaginary world.  The main reason is because there is no one there to confirm the validity of MY experience.  I needed and SADLY I still need the Do (the matrix) to confirm and approve the experience.  I have recently come to realize I rend to feel crazy or scared because I am scared of losing touch with reality.

The truth is I am starting to finally see reality.  I feel like we are all here so scared of losing touch with reality, the Irony is we all have.  The scary part is without the calming re-affirming outside source confirming my experience the fear will persist.  It is like Yoko Ono or maybe it was Lennon said, when you experience something alone it is a dream; when you experience it with someone else it is reality.  I guess there may be greater truth in that since it is by more than ones consciousness interacting that we create this reality.

So, I guess the fear is just a lack of courage.  A lack of courage to re-learn reality.  Its like we become kids again. Unlearning and re-learning.

I awakened once in college.  I was scared shit-less.  I actually actively tried to go back to “sleep”.  I did not understand it, it was odd I thought I was on some never ending trip and I was scared.  I guess the lie was more comfortable, at that time.  Plus, I did not trust my experience, i trusted the common experience.  Thats one reason why I am grateful for HBI and other “true”s spiritual communities.  I don’t need to be that courageous.

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